Dating advice for gay men
8 Dating Tips for Gay Men from a Gay Psychotherapist
Originally published on hivplusmag.com
Looking for a distant term relationship?
Here are some tips based on my eighteen years as a psychotherapist working exclusively with gay men, and as Founder of the Same-sex attracted Therapy Center. These suggestions are also informed by clinical research on relationships as well as my personal study as a recent dater.
Men Are Avoidant
Generally speaking, women are socialized to join. Men, not so much. That’s why they are so lonely.
So you’ll amplify your chances of success if you take a chance on opening up, being real, and a just petite more vulnerable than your average homosexual male dater. That doesn’t mean spilling your guts on the first meet. But can you stretch a petty and be the first to be more authentic?
Yes, it’s risky and scary. Successful dating is defined by risk. That’s why so many people escape it.
Dick Size
If you read and monitor social media targeted to gay men you get the sense that all we care about is big dicks and pecs. While these posts may get our attention in the digital age, and build good money for advertisers, they undertake not correlate as primary features of a lastin
Dating as a Gay Man – Advice from a Matchmaker
While I’m happy to work for people of all walks of existence here at Tawkify, I spent the very first few years concentrating exclusively on matching lgbtq+ men. I’ve worked for queer men of every shape, dye, age, and net worth across the US, and I’ve learned a lot. I’ve observed trends in thought and behavior, how they might relate to the generations to which we relate and how they’re informed by our experiences. We grew up different. We remain different, in some way, from our vertical peers, and our approach to dating is no exception. It’s through my work with my clients that I’ve learned to be very grateful for organism queer. I feel lucky to say that I would not have it any other way–words that would cause a 17-year-old me to shudder.
While the nature slowly becomes more accepting of diversity, in what feels appreciate a three-steps-forward, two-steps-back, awkward waltz, we’re forced to dance along. I’ve written down a several steps that I hope will help you or a buddy on your own journey. As a note: the bulk of these take-aways have been informed by work with cisgender men who identify as gay, but you may find at least some overlap with
17 Pieces of Virtual dating Advice for Lgbtq+, Bi, and Pansexual Men
Societally, people mostly view dating as a means to an end — be that orgasm or marriage.
“But online dating itself can be the end,” says Ackerman. “Dating allows us to trial new personalities, perspectives, physical intimacy, and lessons learned about what we do and don’t like.”
So don’t forget to enjoy the ride. Pun absolutely intended.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a lgbtq+ sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people perceive the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free moment, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed. Pursue her on Instagram @Gabriellekassel.
Ever notice an affinity between straight women and queer men? We see it on TV: straight women are crazy about their gay men friends and the feelings are reciprocal (e.g., think Sex and the City or who can forget Will and Grace?). You may possess witnessed this in your own life. Gay men are straight women’s affection consultants, dating strategists, and healers of heartbreak; and straight women are giving it right back. Is there anything to this?
Turns out, yes! For adore advice, gay men and straight women may be a match made in heaven.
This fascinating bond between straight women and homosexual men is for a good reason: perceived trustworthiness – a critical consciousness when it comes to love advice (Russell, DelPriore, Butterfield, & Hill, 2013). If you’re navigating a sticky relationship issue, you want to trust the source of any counsel you receive. And experimental research by Eric Russell and colleagues suggests linear women and gay men tend to perceive each other’s advice as more trustworthy – even as compared to the equal advice from other people.
Why would this be? Connection scientists think it might have to do with the possibility of biased information (Russell et al., 2013). If